Surely Curly

"

Drew: Greetings. Uh… the army men the good guys? I see you have some robot truck men here too. You shouldn’t mix genres like that. It screws up your morale and jeopardizes the efficacy of your tactics. Okay, I guess we can work with it. What exactly are you playing?

Jack: Well, the GI Bobs are gonna surprise attack those Legos.

Drew: I know that you are but 7 years old. This rigmarole you have here just won’t work. Your flanks are exposed. You’re vulnerable to an enfilade from Lego artillery. I think it’s time that you learn the proper way to set up an L-shaped ambush.

Jack: What’s a flank?

Drew: It’s a good thing I came.

"

"I can only assume by your cavalier attitude that you have yet partake in the wonderment that is the Pancakewich. Allow me to enlighten you. What happens is the one true god grows Panecakewiches on trees in the Elitian fields using a mystical incantation, he then proceeds to magick them down to your local eatery where whatever societal reject Griddlworld has rescued off the dole that week gently wraps them in cellophane and passes them along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched tastebuds can somehow comprehend the delectable intricacies that face them. Is that egg? Why yes, yes it is. And bacon too. But wait, did they…? They didn’t. Yes, they did, they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friend, they wrapped it in a sumptuous pancake bun. As your tastebuds try to process that amazing piece of information, it hits them: the syrup nugget. The motherfucking syrup nugget. It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your pallet has never seen!"

"You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good."

"And for a while after we got back together everything was as fine as it could be. But only for a little while. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, my girl started turning into another girl. Who didn’t want to sleep over as much or scratch my back when I asked her to. Amazing what you notice. Like how she never used to ask me to call back when she was on the line with somebody else. I always had priority. Not anymore. But every time I tried I couldn’t pull it off. I was into her for real. I started working over time on her again, but nothing seemed to pan out. Every movie we went to, every night drive we took, every time she did sleep over seemed to confirm something negative about me. I felt like I was dying by degrees, but when I brought it up she told me that I was being paranoid."

"It wasn’t supposed to get serious between us. I can’t see us getting married or nothing and you nodded your head and said you understood. Then we fucked so that we could pretend that nothing hurtful had just happened. This was like our fifth time together and you got dressed in a black sheath and a pair of Mexican sandals and you said I could call you when I wanted but that you wouldn’t call me. You have to decide where and when, you said. If you leave it up to me I’ll want to see you every day.
At least you were honest, which is more than I can say for me. Weekdays I never called you, didn’t even miss you. I had the boys and my job at Transactions Press to keep me busy. But Friday and Saturday nights, when I didn’t meet anybody at the clubs, I called. We talked until the silences were long, until finally you asked, Do you want to see me?
I’d say yes and while I waited for you I’d tell the boys it’s just sex, you know, nothing at all. And you’d come, which a change of clothes and a pan so you could make us breakfast, maybe cookies you baked for your class. The boys would find you in the kitchen the next morning in one of my shirts and at first they didn’t complain, because they guessed you would just go away. And by the time they started saying something, it was late, wasn’t it?"

"She might be nobody’s pendeja, but she’s also a forgiving soul."